Sexual violence

• Sexual harassment, including unwanted sexual comments, messages or advances
• Sexual assault or rape
• Unwanted sexual touching, above or under clothing
• Forced sexual acts, including forced oral sex
• Sexual activity obtained through threats, pressure, manipulation or coercion
• Sexual activity when someone is unable to consent, including when they are unconscious, heavily intoxicated or otherwise unable to make or communicate a choice
• Sexual exploitation, including being pressured or forced to exchange sexual activity for money, accommodation, resources or other benefits
• Child sexual abuse and exploitation
• Incest or sexual abuse within families
• Flashing or other unwanted exposure to sexual acts or images
• Voyeurism or 'peeping'
• Forcing or pressuring someone to create or share sexual images or videos
• Sharing intimate images or videos without consent
• Technology-facilitated sexual abuse, including sexual threats, harassment or exploitation online
• Sexualised stalking or cyberstalking
• Reproductive or sexual coercion, such as interfering with contraception or pressuring someone to become pregnant or end a pregnancy
• Using or threatening physical force, weapons, restraint or violence to obtain sexual contact
• Any other sexual behaviour that violates someone's bodily autonomy, dignity or boundaries without their consent

Consent matters every time. Being in a relationship, having consented in the past, being intoxicated, or having consented to one sexual activity does not mean someone has consented to another.

If someone has experienced sexual violence, it is not their fault. They have the right to be listened to, believed, and supported, and to make decisions about what happens next.

Everyone responds to sexual violence differently. For some people, the impact may be immediate; for others, it may emerge weeks, months, or even years later. There is no right or wrong way to respond, and the effects can vary in both length and intensity. Whatever someone experiences, the responsibility always lies with the person who caused the harm — never the survivor.

Sexual violence can affect many parts of a person's life, including their physical health, mental and emotional wellbeing, relationships, sense of safety, sleep, daily routines, social life, work and finances, and sex life. Someone may experience changes in their behaviour or habits, anxiety, depression, trauma, dissociation or thoughts of suicide.

Support and recovery can look different for everyone. What matters is that survivors are listened to, believed and supported in ways that respect their choices and needs.

Every child has the right to grow up feeling safe, respected and free from sexual harm. Child sexual abuse is any sexual activity involving a child or young person that they cannot freely and meaningfully consent to. It can involve physical contact, such as sexual touching or rape, but it can also happen without physical contact, including exposing a child to sexual images or activity, taking sexual images of them, or communicating with them in a sexual way. Abuse can involve grooming, manipulation, pressure, threats, deception or exploitation, and can happen in person, online or over the phone.

Grooming can involve building trust with a child or young person, and sometimes with their family or wider support network, to create opportunities for abuse or make it harder for the child to recognise or disclose what is happening. Child sexual exploitation can involve a child being given, promised or pressured with money, gifts, accommodation or other things they need or want in exchange for sexual activity. Whatever form it takes, the responsibility always lies with the person causing the harm. Never the child.

Sexual violence can have a profound impact on a child's wellbeing, both at the time and as they grow. Every child responds differently, and the effects can vary depending on their circumstances, support and experiences. Children may experience changes in their mental and emotional health, physical health, relationships, behaviour, education and sense of safety. The impact can include trauma, depression, anxiety, PTSD, physical health problems, substance use, difficulties around sex and relationships, and increased risks of self-harm, suicide, future victimisation or involvement in harmful behaviours.

There is no right time or way to respond to childhood sexual violence. Some people may not feel able to talk about what happened until they are adults, and others may never feel ready to report it. There can be many reasons for this, including confusion about what happened, fear of the person who caused the harm or of not being believed, shame, self-blame, denial, or a desire to protect someone they know or love. Not speaking about abuse at the time does not make what happened any less serious, and it is never the survivor's fault.

Talking about childhood sexual violence can also bring back difficult memories, feelings, or sensations, sometimes unexpectedly. Survivors may experience flashbacks or feel as though they are back in the situation they experienced as a child. Everyone's response is different, and survivors deserve to be listened to with patience, compassion, and without judgement, whenever they choose to seek support.

Men and boys can experience sexual violence, and the definition does not change because the person experiencing it is male. Sexual violence can happen to anyone, regardless of age, sexuality, or gender, and can occur in relationships, families, communities, institutions, online, or in situations of conflict and detention. In the U.S., more than 1 in 6 men have experienced some form of contact sexual violence during their lifetime (1). These figures are likely to underestimate the true scale, as shame, stigma, fear, and social expectations can make it difficult for male survivors to speak about what happened or seek support.

Sexual violence is not limited to private or personal settings. It can also be used as a weapon of war, a tactic of intimidation and control, or as a form of torture and humiliation in detention and prison settings. The United Nations recognises the widespread and systematic use of sexual violence as a tactic of war, while recent UN reporting has highlighted its use in detention settings, including against men and boys (2).

For men and boys, harmful ideas about masculinity can sometimes make these experiences even harder to understand or talk about. Being sexually abused or assaulted says nothing about how masculine someone is. A boy or man may have felt physically aroused, responded to touch, enjoyed attention, frozen, been unable to resist, or even felt conflicted about what was happening. None of these responses mean they consented to, wanted, or were responsible for the abuse.

Men can be sexually abused or assaulted by men or women, and the sexual orientation of either the survivor or the person causing harm does not explain or cause the abuse. A boy or man is never “lucky” to experience sexual assault or abuse. Sexual violence is about a violation of autonomy, consent, and safety, not about sexual orientation, masculinity, or desire.

Most boys and men who experience sexual violence do not go on to perpetrate sexual violence themselves. Experiencing abuse does not determine who someone will become. Male survivors deserve to be listened to, believed and supported without judgement, and to have their own safety, choices and recovery placed at the centre.

Men and boys can experience sexual violence too, and everyone responds to these experiences differently. For some male survivors, feelings of shame or guilt can lead them to believe they were somehow responsible for what happened, even though the abuse was never their fault. Anger and self-blame can sometimes be directed inward, affecting self-esteem and, for some, leading to self-destructive behaviours.

The impact can also include post-traumatic stress, flashbacks, nightmares and heightened anxiety, as well as emotional numbness or feeling disconnected from emotions as a way of coping with overwhelming experiences. Some survivors may find it difficult to trust others or feel safe in close relationships, while others may experience difficulties with intimacy or sex, including confusion, fear or distress.

Men can also face social pressures to be strong, cope alone, or believe they should have been able to prevent what happened. These expectations can make it harder to talk about an experience or seek support, but they do not change the reality of what happened. Sexual violence is never a man or boy's fault, and seeking support is not a sign of weakness.